Youngest
Mississippi
Youngest was born normal, full term, 10 lbs 6 oz. He was a hand full. No problems feeding that boy. He would eat like a baby rhino. We lived in Mississippi when he was born.. We were only there for a year before we transferred to Florida.
Florida
As time went by we began to notice that youngest was following his oldest footsteps. Not behavior wise just slow at learning.. (oh God I thought NO NO NO) But hesitated to learn his letters and numbers.
Virginia
By this time we knew what to watch for and after seeing his problems we took him to Oldest Doctor.. (His brother has A.D.D. and O.D. D. (Attention Deficit Disorder & Oppositional Deficient Disorder) A.D.H.D which is Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder.. TWO VERY BIG DIFFERENT DISORDERS... Oh by the way he is a head specialist in Developmental Ped's. Anyway, same signs showed up. (no violent tendencies though like oldest) He was then Put into an I.E.P. to help through the school.
Here is youngest just starting school and BAM medication light dosages though. And it worked. He was doing great with minor problems here and there. Normal kid stuff. (unless you a have a perfect child)..
As time went on oldest kept getting worse.. ( He is 7 years older then youngest) He would do things HE KNEW was wrong, but then thinking OH well mum and pops would bail me out. And like fools we would, but requested the school pressed charges. Yet the schools would do nothing against him, he would hit teachers, students, throw things, run away, you name it he did it. And since NO ONE would press charges it got worse. He was at the point that he didn't care who he them to hurt or why. Not even himself. Oh yes we asked press charges. Why you may ask. Because unless you can prove that he is problem in school and NOT because he is bad.. because he has a problem NO ONE WILL LISTEN.
Meanwhile:
Youngest couldn't see some colors and would get frustrated... The teachers were yelling at him and punishing him for pretending not to know his colors in .. in kindergarten and first grades. When we started school that fall, (3rd) his teacher picked right up on his trouble and gave me a doctor to see for him.. I took him to see a eye doctor who confirmed he had a color problem.. He couldn't see dark color that were like this. Children with color deficiencies can not see the different shades of greens and reds.. Let alone dark colors. SO I went to his assistant principle and SHE WAS GREAT.. HURRAY LOVE THIS LADY... She had a meeting with his other teachers and told then about his problem.. (they play a lot of color games and because of him, changed the colors of the closely colored things so he would be able to play too.) Well, they were wonderful the following years too.. He was put into a teacher class that you are always busy.... And color.. let someone pick unfairly on another student, see her husband was color blind. She really let the other teachers from youngest past realized that they were wrong and should of seen it and not judge him so quickly.
The effect on the younger brother in school and at home due to the trouble the oldest was in and out of all the time took its toll.., He was getting depressed and acting out in school. We informed the Doctor of the new problems and medication and therapy was given for him and he then helped with his behavior and his school work really helped.. Shortly after this started and things were going okay.
SET BACK again, youngest lost his special education
teacher. See
memorial page for Teacher... Another hard time. But he managed
to get through it and did start to do better and got honor roll.
During the summer , sure he does things sometimes to get attention, but
heck we all do.. But being on medication in most cases (if
you start young) will not require you to take them all your life.
But if it is not caught early and your child is not helped then they may
have to stay on it for their entire life...
4th grade Youngest.
Youngest has improved somewhat over the last year.. He was on the honor roll in school HOWEVER he is now on medication for depression, due to being separated from his dad the first time since he was born. ( Being military has its hardships.) However its a light dose and seems to be helping (I hope). He has now graduated from Speech class and is doing great. More time for other classes. He is working hard and it shows. He is still a bit of a rascal but that will be okay for now. We will work through it after all I have 18 years of practice.. giggling..
Summer UPDATE
Youngest is in the big 5th grade this year and oldest is Senior.. (He is going to drop out and take his GED instead as with special diploma he will still have to take it to get a good job. NO sense in staying in school. When he can study for it.. He won't get a regular diploma any ways if he stays in High School. Deal is He goes to night school and holds a job.
Youngest is doing great..
Just remember dear people, You may be ONLY THEIR MOTHER, but MUM KNOWS BEST. Listen to what your teacher says and keep a record. DAILY RECORD.. and then bring it to a doctor and ask him/her to read the behavior problems. Most likely you child may have A.D.D or A.D.H.D. Children can also have O.D.D. so make sure YOU FORCE an I.E.P from your school to test for the abilities of your child. Its under federal guide lines and they CAN NOT REFUSE ( teachers/ administrations) to test your child if you request it. They can not tell you ( in some areas) if they have the A.D.D. or A.D.H.D but can give you a basis for your child's learning problems.
Going to spend from June 8th to August 15th with pops in another state... Since he is stationed there temporary..
Summer time update:
June 1999
Since we are leaving from here early to meet pops we are leaving the oldest ( is over 18 and does not want to go nor can we make him) and who seems to have improved greatly with holding down 2 jobs and going to adult schooling for his GED. He will be in charge of taking care of home, lawn and checking on it. He won't be staying here as he has other arrangements now.,. Youngest is doing okay. Medication seems to help and is enjoying his summer as he talks to his pops on the puter...
July 1999
Had to return home since a a friend called stating that our house was broken into and wild party's were going on.. We left there on a friday after only being there with pops for a month to come home. We arrived Saturday morning driving straight through only to find the people in OUR HOME.. Well we tried the front door and keys but locked from the inside. So we went around back door locks changed. So we took off the screen they left the window open with fan in it. SURPRISE CAUGHT THEM..
THE SHOCK:
Our house is trashed inside , everything had been gone through, no
food at all, for our normal return, tv's, vcrs missing. And what's the
worst our SON is in charge of it all. He allowed and taught
kids how to violate our home. He quit his job.. Beer bottles everywhere..
And hard liquor. Of course he is in OUR bed.. But knows nothing
about anything. GOD how could he do this. He let kids steal
his brothers stuff and ours.
Last Straw/Punishment.
Well we have had enough he didn't even say he was sorry for the damages nor theft. So we had no choice this time but have him arrested. He and 2 others were found guilty of breaking and entering and grand theft.. My son testified against us.. They will be paying restitution for the break in. Due to him being involved and showing them how to break in while he was gone, the insurance company wouldn't pay the claim.. So we lost thousands in damages to the house. Oldest is out of the house now here you must legally evict a person to have them removed from insurance. They are on probation.
His little brother won't talk to him still its now almost spring 2000. Its because he has never said he was sorry to him... Nor used any money to pay off the stolen VCR. that belongs to his brother. It was said in court the last time by the judge that he has NO REMORSE or guilty feelings for his meanness., He will probably being seeing him again. The oldest won't tell us where he is or phone number and but he calls us and well............ its always a bunch of lies.
Feller is doing Great in school. He is off the depression medication. He is working towards the honor roll and self confidence is alot better looking forward to hubby returning home for a while this summer.
We will be visiting him also for a long while since we have an alarm system now...
Since this year began my son has improved 100%.. He still won't talk to his brother since his older brother won't say sorry to him for stealing from him. Nor show respect to us. I wish he would talk but I was advised not to push it. So I won't..
Sweety is on the honor roll now.. Because of last summer
problems with the break in and we install a security system. I highly
recommend BRINKS.. They were better by comparison, they put the pads
where I wanted them and took the EXTRA time to instruct my son on the procedure
Plus the fire/police/rescue LIGHTED pad was included for the same
price as ADT with one keypad.. ADT was more expensive and it was
for less equipment. They charged for extra key pad, fire, ambulance,
police monitoring, and your locked into a 3 year contract. NOT with
brinks. SO becareful choose carefully.. I am a customer and found
I LOVE IT..(Brinks). It took me a year to check out each of the security
systems around the states. And this one goes with me. ..
UPdate: 2002
Its been a long time in writing again. So sorry.. I know alot of you wonder how the heck I dare put this type of information on the net. It is to help others, I am not embarrassed by Oldest Child's behavior I was hurt by it. To this day things have not changed with him. He got married thinking it would get respect from us only to find that it changed nothing.. Which it was only for that reason. His so called girl was just looking for someone to be with. How do I know this. Well she has been around since he was about 16 and she was a terrible liar then, and trouble maker. Now unfortuently he is stuck with his mistake which he said the last time he was here in anger blaming us for his troubles once again. When in fact we had not talked to him in months. ( He admitted then to the mistake of marring her. I said only one thing. You a grown man and your personal life is your business. I have nothing to say about her.
We have not talked to him for several months now as he is in Jail on other charges ranging from, violations of probation, to shop lifting. He has NEVER bothered to show his father or me respect for what he did to our home and his brother he has never paid when the courts ordered him too nor obeyed them either. He claims they are wrong and that he owes us nothing. He has never said he was sorry for the trouble he caused us nor has he ever kept any promises that he made since then. (not that we believed him then or now). We have removed all pictures of him from our lives and packed them away. And there will be no further entries about him and he is no longer a member of this family.
I surpose you find this mean, but after 13 years of h*ll with him from the time he started school until today he has show little interest in having parents or someone who could guild him. He just wanted someone to bail him out. And now its his girls problem. NOT OURS. Maybe someday he will grow up and understand what it is like to do everything without parents to help you. But until that day IT falls on his girls shoulders. (And her parents won't help them out either ). They want nothing to do with them. I am sorry to say that Loving a child as destructive as he is is more than any parent could bare. He wanted this life and is living it. So now he is where he can do no harm except to himself.
We wash our hands until the day comes he can repay us in love, understanding
& MONEY.., Yes money.
If you noticed I have not put his name here.. I removed it due to the problems on the net and things happening..
I.E.P is an individual program geared for just your son/daughter. It focuses on his/her needs while in school. It helps in the areas that child may be lacking or falling behind. It is not the fault of any parent... OR something in there genetic makeup.. It is review each school year on the anniversary of its initial day you placed it in force. It is done by the school for the school. However can be transferred to different states. And the guidelines are under strict rules. In most cases is an over active gland that forgets to SLOWWWWWWW down so one may learn. If you have any questions.. Please email me at: but make sure you are using a valid email.
The best states so far for MILITARY children with such problems are as follows: Virginia, California. The worst states for children is Mississippi and Florida, Georgia... they have terrible school systems and IEP is not up held all the way. I know we have lived it...
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