For all you dog lovers out there, here are some of the lessor known
breeds that are being bred in different parts of the United States,
Crossbreed Dogs:
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog
fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the
choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by.... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deer hound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in
 case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and
 many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then
 one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what
are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the
 Scout Master. Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck
of cards." "Why's that Timmy?" "Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the  water is to prevent dehydration..." "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"

A Forever Friend
Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.
When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirits
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
If you turn and walk away,
your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way,
your forever friend guides you
and cheers you on.
Your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

 She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.
The smile seemed to make him feel better.
He remembered past kindness of a friend
And wrote him a thank you letter.
The friend was so pleased with the thank you
That he left a large tip after lunch.
The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
Bet the whole thing on a hunch.
The next day she picked up her winnings,
And gave part to a man on the street.
The man on the street was grateful;
For two days he'd had nothing to eat.
After he finished his dinner,
He left for his small dingy room.
(He didn't know at that moment
that he might be facing his doom.)
On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
And took him home to get warm.
The puppy was very grateful
To be in out of the storm.
That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.
He barked till he woke the whole household
And saved everybody from harm.
One of the boys that he rescued
Grew up to be President.
All this because of a simple smile
That hadn't cost a cent.

High School Sweethearts:
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four
years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their
virginity with each other in 10th grade.  When they graduated,
they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was
accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to
the west coast.  They agreed to be faithful to each other and
spend anytime they could together.  As time went on, the guy
would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he
wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters.  Even when
he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.  Finally,
she confessed to him she wanted to date around.  He didn't
take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails
trying to win back her love.
Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend,
she wanted to get him off her back.  So, what she did is this:
she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's
unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note
reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."
Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more
so, was pissed.  So, what he did next was awesome.  He wrote
on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad,
having a great time at college, please send more money!" and
mailed the picture to HER parents.

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he
noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence,
soaking in the whole event.  The man thought, "Great... he's
4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees.
No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son
and said,  "Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was
that calf going when he hit that cow?"

            The Birds & the Bees
One day little Johnny came up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did I come from?" Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time his son knew the facts of life.  So, Dad told his son how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As Dad told the story, his son's eyes got wider and wider. When Dad was finished, his son said, "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Billy told me. He said that he came from Philadelphia."

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES CONTINUES.....
  Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
 God to Man: "So you would love her."
 "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
 God replies: "So she would love you."

 God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough
 draft before creating a masterpiece.
 Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
 Dogs are man's best friend.
 So which is the dumber sex?

 Single women complain that all good men are married, while all
 married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that
there is no
 such thing as a good man.
 Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
    MENstruation
    MENopause
    MENtal breakdown
    GUYnecology
    HIMmorrhoids
 What's the difference between government bonds and men?  Bonds mature.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?  E.T.  phoned home.
 How are men like noodles?
 They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why do men like BMWs?  They can spell it.
What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Why are men like popcorn?  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Why are men and spray paint alike?  One squeeze and they're all over you.
 Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why is food better than men? Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
 They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
 At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 10,000 miles, whichever came first.
 What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow.
What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Grandpa
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa
 sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the
 waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
 The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
 "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again. The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out
 here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.  This was your Grandma's idea!!"

Swimming Suits
 A Polish guy is walking along the beach in France.  There are
  many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet
  one.  But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all
  interested.  Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy
  lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
  "Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been
  trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just
  can't seem to get anywhere with them.  You're French.  You know these
  women.  What do they *want Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman.  "What you do ees you go to zee store.  You buy a leetle bikini swimming suit.  You walk up and down zee beach.  You meet girl very queekly
  zees way."  "Wow!  Thanks!" says the Polish guy, and off he goes to
the store.  He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back
  to the beach.  He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck
  with the ladies. So he went back to the Frenchman.  "I'm sorry to bother you
  again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I
  *still* haven't been able to meet a girl."  "Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do.  You go to zee store.  You buy potato.  You put potato in swimming suit and walk up and down zee beach.  You will meet girl very, very weekly zees way." "Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach.
  Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look
at him.  After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to
  the Frenchman. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and
  I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing!  What more can I
  do?"  "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle
  beet.  Why don't you try moving zee potato to the *front* of zee swimming suit?"

Soap Powder
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom &
Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry
detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the
boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog.  It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.  In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.  The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the  boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh?  What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

Gay Bar
A priest and a minister walked into a bar.  After sitting down,
ordering, and some chit chat the priest said, "Have you noticed
there  are no women in this bar?"  He then realized the truth, "I
think we're in a gay bar." A man approached and tried to flirt with the priest. The priest was dumbfounded, and didn't know what to do.  The minister
leaned over and whispered something in the man's ear.  The
man nodded and walked off. The relieved priest said, "Thanks.  What did you tell him?" The minister replied, "I just told him we're on our honeymoon."

M - O - T - H - E  - R
-M- is for the million things she gave me,
-O- means only that she's growing old,
-T- is for the tears she shed to save me,
-H- is for her heart of purest gold;
-E- is for her eyes, with love light shining,
-R- means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell MOTHER,
A word that means the world to me